He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
