I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
