butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
