found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize