just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
