I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
