Screwed.edu
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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