Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
