the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
