Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
