you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
