id be glad to
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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