corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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