before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
