11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
