im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
