Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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