either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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