people are starting to question the shark bite story
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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