420 ftw
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
