look no pants
Small penises have feelings too.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
