I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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