Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
