Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
