3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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