walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
