so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
