i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
