are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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