A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
