he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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