i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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