I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
