I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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