It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
