I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
