carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
