Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
