I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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