Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
