Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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