I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize