I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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