I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize