if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's just like the Real World with babies
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
