I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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