I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
