I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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