no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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