If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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