some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My vagina is officially offended.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
