You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize