So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
