So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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