We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
