can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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