is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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