Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
