i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
