4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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