her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
