I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
