i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
