what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
