I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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