Your tits are I can't wait for
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
