Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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