I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
