I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
