are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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