Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
