Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
