): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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