oh god the rape fog is back!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
