I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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