how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
